Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts! ~Psalm 139:23
Psalm 139 is a dangerous poem because intimacy is dangerous. David invites into his heart the one who has searched him and known his innermost and deepest thoughts. God knows David better than David knows David, and God will find more in David’s heart than even David knows is there. “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13). Think about that; God knows you better than you know you. That is either wonderful or awful or both.
The difference comes not of what we believe God will find in us, but what we believe of God. If God is only judge, then there is only terror. We fear him and should. But he is Savior first, and so there is fear and wonder. “God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world,” explained God’s Son, “but in order that the world might be saved through him” (John 3:17). We are condemned already, he says, because we know enough of our hearts to know the darkness, but “God so loved the world” (John 3:16). We cannot hide our darkness, and we do not need one who closes his eyes to it. We need a Savior who sees the darkness and through it, and leads us in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:24). Invite him in.
Heavenly Father, what a fantastic life! You have created the most wonderful world. You made me in Your image, gave me my intellect and emotions and will. You made me one who laughs and sings and works and runs and plays. You gave me the ability to be delighted, and then put a delightful world around me.
And I sin, and the world is clouded. Come inside and deal with that, God. Put me to the test and show me how badly I am missing the wonders about me. It is a wonderful life, You are a God of wonders, and I am wonderfully made. Restore me, God, to a life overflowing and everlasting and good.